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Article about sex after divorce first time:
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If you’re uncertain about how to navigate sex and dating after a divorce, know that you’re not alone. Explore questions that can help you to clarify what you are looking for in this new stage of life. Sex After Divorce: How Long Should You Wait?


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Life after divorce can feel like uncharted territory to many people. When you are going through such a radical life change, the logistics of moving on can be a nightmare. You have so many questions in your mind surrounding how your schedule will change, who you will spend your time with, and how your sex life will change. After you are divorced, dating can be a source of anxiety as well. This website is owned and operated by BetterHelp, who receives all fees associated with the platform. Many recent divorcees wonder if they should wait before having sex after divorce. The answer to this is different for everyone. It is dependent on a variety of factors. Some of these factors include what type of relationship you are looking for, whether or not you are ready to be intimate with someone new, and what you need to feel safe during sex. No matter your situation or circumstances, you can get back to enjoying sex with someone new. Sex After Divorce: A Deeper Look. The Moores married young. Lynn was just 20 when she met her future husband, Matthew. They were each other's 'firsts' and had many good years together-20, to be exact. But when their twin girls left for college, things began to change. They realized that they no longer had anything in common. In fact, they hadn't been attracted or attached in years. They were going through the motions. Not long after, the couple decided to divorce. There was no drama, in fact, the situation was mutual. Still, many areas of their lives were turned upside down. Matthew started dating someone else right away. Lynn was a little shocked but was happy for him nonetheless. After all, it wasn't her ex-husband moving on that made her feel scared and confused, it was her own intimacy issues. You see, Matthew was the only man she had ever been with, and she couldn't wrap her mind around how sex would work with someone else. Because of this, she chose not to date. Sex after the divorce was a scary topic for her, and she was too embarrassed to talk about it with friends and family. Finally, Lynn got the nerve to talk to an online relationship counselor through Regain. Working together, the two were able to wade through the topics below. Now, both Matthew and Lynn are in healthy, loving relationships post-divorce. Wondering about 'sex after divorce' is a thing of the past. You can get to that point as well by exploring the following. What Kind of Relationship Are You Looking For? How long you wait to have sex after divorce will depend on what type of relationship you are looking for. If you are searching for someone to have casual sex with, there is no need to wait very long at all. This seems to be the culture now, and if you've been 'out of the game' for a while, this is something you'll have to accept. Of course, that doesn't mean you'll have to partake! If sex holds a more important place in your heart, you may want to hold off longer. Casual sex is easy to transition to after the divorce. This type of relation offers a "no strings attached" approach to intimate relations. The person that you choose to have sex with need not have anything in common with you. You don't have to worry about an emotional attachment, and there are no obligations involved in this type of relationship. If your desires are strictly physical, you can pursue this type of relationship almost immediately following your divorce. Just make sure it is truly what you want. The last thing you want to do is harbor feelings for this person only for sex. If sex is more than just an activity, you will need to wait a bit longer to jump in. Maybe you don't want to start a new relationship, but you need certain things before having sex with someone. Some examples of qualities you may be searching for include knowing this person (at least at a friendly level.) You may want to be sure that the two of you are compatible in the bedroom. You may have other morals that need to be fulfilled before you can have sex with someone. It is best to give yourself time to process your divorce before you engage in this relationship. No matter which route you choose, trust yourself and your instincts when faced with a tough decision. If you consider the choices and weigh them appropriately, you can trust yourself to choose the right path. No one knows yourself better than you. Don't sell yourself short, have some confidence in your intuition above all else. Are You Ready to Be Intimate with Someone New? The relationship with your ex may have left you emotionally broken. Depending on the details of the cause for your divorce, you may not be ready to be intimate with someone new. This area's rule in this area is to make sure you are ready to be with someone new. If you are carrying around excess emotional baggage from your last relationship, sex should be avoided. The danger of jumping into a physical relationship before you are ready is impeding your healing. You want to be sure that you are giving yourself ample time following your divorce to feel better inside and out. If you delay the healing process too long, you risk forming toxic habits. Many people who rely on sex after divorce develop a need to have sex to solve any relationship problems. This can lead to ruined relationships in the future due to infidelity or misunderstanding overall. The number one thing you need to worry about right now is yourself. No matter how strongly you feel that you need sex to feel better, you don't. There are alternatives, healthier ways to deal with your emotions that don't jeopardize your healing. If you are struggling to find peace after divorce, consider therapy. The emotional workings of ending a long-term relationship affect more areas in your life than you may realize. A professional can help you bring these issues to the surface and deal with them healthily. As a bonus, getting help can get you on the path to success quicker since you won't have to waste time with trial and error dealing with your emotions and thoughts. What Do You Need to Feel Safe During Sex? Many people don't take into account the things needed for them to feel secure during sex. When you are in a romantic relationship with the same person for a long period, this person knows what you need. A new person is not going to be as in touch with you as your ex. There could be things that you need to feel safe that you may not even realize. The knowledge needed for sex to be enjoyable for you may be hidden in the mind of your previous partner. For this reason, you need to be sure that you know what you need before you start a new intimate relationship. This could take some soul searching and deep thought.